Petty Pigeon shirt
Lose the ’Tude, Dude Tee
The original Petty Pigeon shirt: one hall-monitor persona, one complete slogan, and a very specific side-eye.
Unisex shirt • made to order
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NONSENSEDEPOTShop direct
Crumb & Complaint
Petty Pigeon Gifts for People With Opinions
Petty Pigeon is one recognizable bird with several personas—not a full-time cop. Browse the complete current collection across shirts, phone cases, a checkerboard backpack, baby bodysuits, journals, totes, and physical greeting cards. Product cards route to direct checkout when available and Etsy when marketplace-only.
Petty Pigeon backpack
Lose the ’Tude, Dude Backpack
Petty Pigeon points through a cobalt, orange, cream, and black checkerboard with the complete signature slogan.
Printed front flap • supplier-standard black body
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Petty Pigeon
Petty Pigeon Phone Case
A word-free repeat pattern featuring Petty’s hall-monitor persona—one role in a much larger collection.
Glossy tough case • 15 device options
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Petty Pigeon baby
Lose the ’Tude Dude Baby Bodysuit
The signature Petty Pigeon slogan on a soft infant bodysuit for the smallest person with the strongest opinion.
5 colors • infant sizes • made to order
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Petty Pigeon baby
Nap Time Is Overrated Baby Bodysuit
Petty Pigeon’s official position on naps, printed on a soft bodysuit in five practical colors.
5 colors • infant sizes • made to order
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Petty Pigeon journal
Lose the ’Tude, Dude Journal
A hardcover Petty Pigeon notebook for school notes, work notes, and carefully documented minor offenses.
Hardcover journal • made to order
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Petty Pigeon tote
Carrying This Out of Spite Tote
A Petty Pigeon canvas tote for errands, books, groceries, and other burdens carried with intent.
Printed front and back • natural cotton canvas
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Petty Pigeon school tote
Supplies Acquired Tote
A back-to-school Petty Pigeon tote for notebooks, library runs, and supplies acquired with enthusiasm pending.
Printed front and back • natural cotton canvas
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Petty Pigeon card
One Year Older. Congrats.
A birthday card with one practical recommendation: lose the ’tude, dude—or keep it, because it is clearly working.
Folded 5×7 card • envelope included
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Petty Pigeon card
I Expect a Crumb
A straightforward birthday greeting with equally straightforward cake-distribution requirements.
Folded 5×7 card • envelope included
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Petty Pigeon card
You Age. I Judge.
A dry birthday card for someone entering another year of perfectly questionable decisions.
Folded 5×7 card • envelope included
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Petty Pigeon card
Cake Tax: One Crumb
A birthday card that establishes the only fee Petty considers reasonable and payable immediately.
Folded 5×7 card • envelope included
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Petty Pigeon card
I’ll Allow It
Birthday authorization from a pigeon who has reviewed the request and approved proceeding with cake.
Folded 5×7 card • envelope included
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Petty Pigeon card
Birthday Complaint Filed
A dry birthday card for the person whose annual complaint has been received, stamped, and placed in the proper file.
Folded 5×7 card • envelope included
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Teacher card
Fresh New Side-Eye
Back-to-school encouragement for a great teacher returning with sharp pencils and freshly calibrated side-eye.
Folded 5×7 card • envelope included
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Teacher card
You Survived the Flock
An end-of-year teacher card for making the school year better than the paperwork suggested.
Folded 5×7 card • envelope included
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Teacher card
Your Patience Has Been Noted
A teacher thank-you card recognizing encouragement, tolerance, and a frankly excessive amount of patience.
Folded 5×7 card • envelope included
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Petty Pigeon card
That Was Actually Nice
A thank-you card for a genuinely thoughtful act that Petty noticed despite making every effort not to.
Folded 5×7 card • envelope included
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Choose the right one.
Is Petty Pigeon always a hall monitor?
No. Hall Monitor is one persona. The core character can be an overthinker, student, birthday skeptic, office observer, or plain petty pigeon.
Which item is easiest to gift?
The signature backpack, totes, journal, and physical cards need no clothing size or phone model. The shirt and baby bodysuits carry the full joke, while the pattern phone case is a quieter option.
Where do I choose sizes or devices?
Open the product page to see live shirt and bodysuit sizes, phone models, production estimates, and delivery options currently available.